Sinful Longing Read online

  “Colin,” she said, starting with her own mea culpa. “You have to know how sorry I am. If there were a way I could have told you, I would have. I desperately wanted to. It was so hard for me not to say anything. I hated keeping it from you. But I couldn’t do that to Marcus.”

  “I know. I swear, I know,” he said, relief and frustration in his voice as he dragged one hand through his hair. “And I should have known better. I was so blindsided, and then a million times more shocked to learn you had been helping him. But instead of sitting down and talking to you to try to understand the situation, I just lashed out.” He stopped to take a quiet breath. “And that’s not the kind of person I want to be. My ex did that to me, and I don’t want to be that guy. That guy who sends those messages.”

  “Then don’t be that guy,” she said matter-of-factly. She understood that he’d been knocked to his knees by news he couldn’t have prepared for, but she also wasn’t going to be on the receiving end of his anger. “Be the guy who gives me a chance to explain and work it out. And be the guy who treats me with respect even if you’re upset.”

  “I will. I promise I will,” he said, his voice a plea for forgiveness. “That’s not how I want to treat you. I was just so stunned by everything that I stopped thinking.” He rocked lightly on his heels as Eddie Vedder sang on the stereo in the kitchen. “It was all so out of the blue. There I was, talking to Ryan about how he’s planning to propose to Sophie—”

  A full dose of glee raced through her veins. “He’s going to propose?”

  He smiled. “See? There I go again, just saying what’s on my mind. Don’t tell her, okay?”

  She rubbed her hands together. “Ooh. Another secret. But this one is the good kind to keep.”

  “So he’s telling me about the trip, and his plans, and his dog is jumping in the car, and, Elle…” He stopped to look her in the eyes, letting the enormity of the moment register. “My fucking half-brother appears, takes off a cape, and says ‘Ta da!’ It was beyond surreal. And he talked for a long time, and then he told me you’d been advising him. And boom.” He smashed one palm against the other. “It was like hitting a wall. I just didn’t know what to think, and I snapped back. I was too honest. Too direct. I should have filtered myself and taken some time to process this news. Instead, I processed it with you. Over a text message. And I just typed everything that came to mind, rather than talk to you.” He downshifted to a gentler tone, meeting her eyes and doing what she’d asked. “So talk to me.”

  At last, she was free of the burden of the secret. “I just want you to try to understand that I didn’t want to keep this secret from you. But he asked for my confidence before he told me he was your brother, and I was torn apart knowing that. But it would have been so wrong for me to tell you.” She reached for him, running her fingers gently across the tanned skin of his arm, wanting contact.

  “Wrong? Elle, that’s not what I—” Then he stopped and gestured to her thumb with the splint on it. “What happened?”

  She shrugged it off. “Nothing. I crashed during the match.”

  He reached for her hand, brought it to his lips and brushed a kiss onto the small splint. Her heart fluttered. Maybe this wasn’t the end of them.

  “Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. Everyone is making a big deal of it. It was just a dislocated thumb, and evidently it’s relocated now,” she said with a small smirk as she wiggled her thumb. “It’s not like I broke a tibia crashing off a sheer rock wall or something. But it did hurt like hell yesterday. They even gave me some pain meds.” She gestured to the bottle on the coffee table. He followed her gaze, and she wondered if he was tempted. Perhaps she should have tucked them away. But then, as she searched his eyes looking for a sign of longing, she was glad to find none.

  “Did they help you?” he asked, his tone one of concern for her.

  She nodded. “I feel much better.”

  “Can I still hold your hand, though?” he asked, lifting his hand to hers then gently sliding his fingers through, lacing them together. Her heart danced a crazy jig. So much for that momentary panic. Now, the organ in her chest was engaged in a full-blown tango of joy.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  He stepped closer, tenderly clasping her hand. “I’m sorry I said all those things. I didn’t mean it when I said I don’t know how I feel about you. Maybe for a few seconds, or a few minutes, I didn’t know which way was up or down. But then when I thought about it, I knew exactly how I felt about you.”

  “And how do you feel?”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  This was the real risk. Close your eyes, step off the cliff. No clue if there’s anything to break the fall, but do it anyway.

  “How I feel is this.” He took a breath before he spoke. “That I wish I’d been there yesterday to help you up when you crashed,” he said, wrapping his other hand around her trim waist. She fit so well in his arms. “That I should have gone and talked to you. That I wanted to spend the afternoon with you and your son.”

  Her heart tripped when he mentioned Alex.

  He continued, “And I know I need to make it up to him that I didn’t show up, as much as I need to make it up to you. Because the two of you are a package deal. You matter so much to me, and I want to do right by your kid.”

  “You will do right by him. You already are,” she said, her voice breaking as she inched closer, melting into him.

  “I want so much more than what it’s been. I can’t pretend I just want this,” he said, raking his eyes over her from head to toe. “I do want your body. I do want to have you all night long. But I want the rest of you, too.” He let go of her waist and placed his palm on her chest, above her breasts. Such a temptation, but he was stronger than it. He was guided by the truth of his feelings for her, and the depth of them, too. “I’m falling for you.”

  Instantly she grasped his hand, tugging it even closer to her chest. “I’m falling for you, too, Colin. I was going to tell you the other night at your house,” she said, words tumbling free in a mad rush. “I don’t want these lines between us anymore. I want to see what we can become. I told Alex that I’m dating you, and I want to have you in my life as more than just the man I sneak away to see.”

  He nuzzled her neck, layering kisses on her skin, his heart beating hard and fast. “I want that so much, Elle. I want all of you.”

  “You can have all of me,” she whispered then pressed her lips to his ear, making him shudder and turning him on. “Preferably now.”

  Colin needed no more invitation than that. Scooping her up, he carried her through the living room and down the hall, finding her bedroom easily. He’d never been inside her house before, and if he didn’t have only one thing on his mind, he might have taken the time to notice fully the pictures on her wall, or the blinds in her bedroom, or maybe even the various shades in the sea of pillows on her bed. But nope. He was zeroed in on a mission—get as close as possible to her.

  In seconds he’d stripped her down to next to nothing, tossing her shorts and tank on the floor. She scooted back on her bed, wearing only a pair of pink cotton panties and her tattoos.

  She froze and held up her index finger. “Wait.”

  He raised an eyebrow in a question.

  “Close your eyes,” she told him.

  He shrugged happily, figuring whatever was coming next would be worth the surprise. A drawer opened behind him with a squeak, then he counted the seconds as she moved around. Nineteen long ones later, the mattress dipped lightly and she told him to open his eyes.

  Holy fucking fantasy.

  The socks.

  The roller skating socks. They were white with purple stripes at the knees, and they were so fucking hot. His dick was operating at a ninety-degree angle now.

  “You are going to get fucked so good right now. In so many ways,” he growled as he crawled up on the bed, running his hands up her legs, from the socks to her knees, to those gorgeous thighs, which led to his favorite
place in the universe. He kneeled over her, bending his face to her center. Kissing her belly. Her hips. Inhaling her. Fuck, her scent drove him wild. He pressed his lips roughly against the waistband of her panties, then tugged at them with his teeth.

  She laughed lightly, but her laughter was swallowed up as he yanked them to her knees, and her hips shot up.

  “Colin,” she whispered, surprise in her tone. But excitement, too, judging from the sexy little murmur she made.

  Once he had the underwear to her ankles, he tugged them off.

  “Just like I’ve always wanted,” he said, meeting her eyes. Hers were full of lust—a lust that matched his. “You in just these.”

  “That’s what I like—being your fantasy.”

  “Fulfilling my fantasy,” he corrected, then he wrapped his hands around each sock-covered ankle and lifted up her knees. “Fuck,” he said, in utter appreciation of the sight in front of him. “Just look at how fucking hot you are. I can barely take it. You’re killing me with hotness,” he said as he stared at her pussy. The absolutely divine, fucking gorgeous pussy that he wanted to worship. He loved the taste of her, the feel of her, and the heat of her. He loved traveling the path of her body back to that treasure. His cock throbbed insistently against his shorts as he nibbled his way up her legs. Bit the back of her knee above the socks. Kissed the inside of her thigh. Nipped that enticing, tantalizing spot where her legs curved into her slick folds. He ran his tongue along her wetness and she rose up, arching into him.

  “My new addiction. I’m high on you,” he whispered, before he buried his face between her legs until she was panting, screaming, and writhing. She flung her hands into his hair, grabbing him and pulling him as close as he could be. He was smothered in her, and he loved it. He could spend the day camped out there. Just tasting her, and kissing her, and savoring her. Slipping a finger inside, he drew her clit into his lips and sucked hard. She squirmed and moaned loudly. Soon she was frantically fucking his finger, so he added another, then pressed his thumb against her ass.

  Like. Magic.

  Like a secret X that marked the spot on his woman.

  It turned her into a primal creature. As he rubbed his thumb against that forbidden spot, his sweet, feisty, fiery, complicated, lovely Elle became a two-minute timer of hot, dirty desire. She’d gone from zero to sixty in mere seconds, and her noises grew wild. Her hips rocked into his mouth as she wrapped her sock-covered legs so damn tightly around his head.

  He was everywhere in her. Hands, lips, tongue, fingers. Thrusting inside her. Fucking her in so many ways. Lust slammed into him from every corner of the world as his beautiful woman came undone in his mouth, her sweetness on his lips, her pleasure flooding his tongue. Her heady taste was all over him as she cried out his name like the chorus of a classic rock anthem.

  After she came down from her orgasmic high, he went into the bathroom to wash his hands then returned to her. He shucked off his clothes and moved alongside her, her back to his front, yanking her alongside his erection. “I want to flip you over onto your hands and knees and fuck you on all fours with you dressed like that,” he said, his voice hot and smoky with desire. She shivered against him. “I want to bend you over the side of the bed and just take you in nothing but your knee-highs.” He pressed against her tailbone. She answered with a sexy purr. “But this poor little dislocated and relocated thumb of yours is making me think of other ways I can have you, since I can’t put you on your hands and knees like I want,” he said in her ear, in a dirty growl.

  “Mmm…what other ways?”

  “Where are your toys? Nightstand drawer?”

  Her hazel eyes lit up as she shifted in his arms to face him. The gold flecks in them sparkled with a naughty glint. “Yes. What do you want to use on me?”

  “Let’s see what my options are,” he said, then slid open the drawer. Holy shit. It was like a fiesta of sex toys. “I think they might be mating in there.”

  She laughed. “One can only hope.”

  The drawer was a shrine to battery-operated friendships. Elle owned everything from pearl-filled, ten-speed rabbits, to finger vibrators, to waterproof dolphin-style massagers. But in the midst of all that purple and red and silver silicone, he spotted a slender pink vibrator with a small remote attached. It wasn’t wide like the others, nor did it have the little fluttery wings for clit stimulation.

  Which meant…

  “Elle Mariano,” he said as he grabbed it and arched an eyebrow. “I had no idea you were so advanced in your solo play.”

  She quirked her lips. “Now you know.”

  “Do you like this toy?”

  She shrugged, a happy, woozy look still in her eyes. “I bought it one night when I went on a Joy Delivered online shopping spree. Never used it.”

  “What inspired you to buy it?” he asked, as he grabbed the lube in the drawer.

  “Something I was reading,” she said sheepishly.

  “Ah, something dirty?”

  “But of course.”

  “Butt indeed,” he said, returning to her ass and squeezing it. Moving to a cross-legged position on the bed, he offered her a hand and tugged her lithe, naked body onto his. Damn, she was sexy as fuck straddling him in that hot as sin outfit—socks and nothing else. “Climb on top, my Skater Girl.”

  “Are you going to use that on me?”

  “Considering how fast and hard you came with my finger in your ass, then yes, I am going to use this,” he said, as he bent his head to her neck. “Unless you don’t want me to.”

  She lifted her face and cupped his cheeks. “The woman in the story loved it,” she whispered.

  A bolt of lust tore through him. “You will, too.”

  * * *

  He reached for her wrists and looped them around his neck carefully, making sure her thumb wasn’t hurting. She didn’t feel any pain. She felt only possibility—the alluring possibility of pleasure beyond her wildest fantasies.

  She’d had so many fantasies about this man.

  Trying new things with him. Testing boundaries. Playing, without pushing past her comfort zone. She wasn’t sure how far she’d ever want to go in the backdoor department, but this kind of starter pleasure with the man she was hot for? She was ready.

  And, oh hell, so was he. His cock was a thing of beauty—hard, hot, and heavy in her hand as she lowered herself onto him. Sensations rolled through her body. That delicious stretching. The intense depth. The way he moved. His eyes were dark, and she swore she could see all his desire written in them. His potent lust for her. She was sure two people had never wanted each other more—certain, too, that make-up sex had never been so good.

  He laced his hands behind her waist, fiddling with the toy. The buzzing began, and the sound sent goose bumps across her flesh. He pressed the tip of the toy against her rear. It was better than good. It was mind-blowingly sexy. It was thrillingly dirty as it vibrated. He’d already lubed it up, so the tip slid easily inside.

  “Rock into me,” he urged as she rode him, rising up and down on his dick. He pushed the toy farther into her rear, and she tensed, tightening around it. Stilling herself, she drew a breath at the twin sensations shooting through her body. Together, they were heaven. This was the opposite of how she’d felt yesterday, when pain had torn through her on the floor of the rink. This was different, too, from the Percocet. That pill had washed away the world around her, reducing it to a cool haze.

  Here on her bed, straddling Colin as he shoved his cock deeper into her and played with her ass, she experienced every single wildly addictive wonderful feeling.

  “So this is one of your fantasies?” he asked as he pressed a button on the remote.

  She squirmed as pleasure raced through her. “Now, it is,” she said on a pant.

  “Any time you want to reenact something, I’m your man.”

  “You are,” she said. You are my man.

  Those words echoed in her mind, and she shut her eyes, clamping her mouth closed or els
e she’d say more.

  She’d say too much. She’d serve up all that she felt for him. That she was falling harder than she’d ever imagined. That she was crazy for him. That she couldn’t imagine how terrible she’d feel if she’d lost him.

  But she hadn’t lost him. Here he was in her home. Fucking her. Taking her. Owning her. Giving her more pleasure than she’d ever experienced, more passion than she’d ever known. Exploring their potential between the sheets. In some ways, trusting him with her body was helping her trust him outside the bedroom, too.

  He layered kisses on her neck as he drove into her with his cock and the toy, pleasure rippling through her from all directions. Soon, she had no notion of where or how or why she felt like this—like bliss. All she knew was that every single cell in her body was comprised of ecstasy, because he’d done it again. He’d fucked her to the edge of reason. He’d ushered her to the far reaches of erotic joy, and she was breaking apart like a rainstorm, a gorgeous, brilliant summer rainstorm, as she came with no signs of stopping. Her climax had no end in sight. It washed over her, it pulled her under, and it consumed her.

  Her whole body was a fucking orgasm. There was nothing else but this endless rush of pleasure blasting through her and taking her captive.

  She moaned and groaned and cried out, and she couldn’t stop because nothing had ever felt so good. “Oh God, oh my God, oh holy fucking…” And then her words became nonsense, just the echo of the intensity raging in her body.

  Soon he tossed her on her back, wrapped her legs around his waist, and fucked her until his own oblivion smashed into him.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR