The Knocked Up Plan Read online

  Romeo hops up and scoots besides me. I rub his head as I think about Nicole. I’ve known her since I started at Hanky Panky Love. She’s always been my sexy co-worker, a fun woman. Now I’m seeing another side of her, one that’s daring in a whole new way. To embark down this path, and to woman up enough to ask me to man up, is bold.

  It’s fucking hot, in fact. It takes guts to do what she did. It takes bravery. That’s so damn sexy.

  I drag a hand through my hair.

  Jesus Christ, this woman has always been gorgeous, and now, she’s even hotter. How is that possible? How the hell does asking me to jack off in a cup make her even sexier? But it does. Judging from my dick’s imitation of an iron spike right now, I evidently find this new side of Nicole intensely hot.

  Why the hell am I so goddamn turned on thinking about masturbating?

  “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I mutter. Romeo licks my face. Okay, my hard-on deflates a bit. “Do I want to say no?” I ask my dog.

  He rubs his nose against my shoulder.

  “What would you do, buddy?”

  He pants.

  “Good answer.”

  He jumps off the bed, scampers to a corner where he herds his dog toys, and grabs a floppy giraffe. He vivisected the giraffe a week ago. Now it’s a damaged stuffy with a neck and one leg. But he loves it, and holy shit, he loves it a lot. So much that he’s jammed it between his legs and he’s humping it.

  Yup, that’s my boy. He’s screwing a mutilated giraffe stuffy.

  “Get a room,” I shout.

  But he keeps going, thrusting and pumping.

  I know the answer. I’ve known it since I left the diner. My brother’s comments only bolstered what my heart had already decided. I needed the time to make sure I wasn’t rushing into this decision.

  Nicole is a brave, bold, beautiful woman who’s unafraid to carve out a life on her own terms.

  I admire the fuck out of that.

  And I also want to fuck her.

  Eleven

  Nicole

  Ever want something so badly it’s like a hungry ache in your bones?

  Yeah, me neither.

  As I leave the subway and walk the few blocks to An Open Book, I try once more to read meaning into Ryder’s text message as well as the location. We’re meeting at a bookstore on the Upper West Side. What does that tell me? Is his answer a yes, a no, a maybe? Please let it not be maybe. I can’t bear this in-between state much longer. I’m a woman who craves answers.

  I tug my light blue scarf around my neck. There’s a cool breeze in the air. My black boots clack against the sidewalk, the rhythmic sound like a metronome, keeping time with my anticipation. I turn the corner, narrowly avoiding a couple with their arms draped around each other. The sandy-haired man peppers kisses on the cheek of the pixie woman by his side. She seems to swoon, her eyes falling briefly shut. I look away. That kind of love is not in my future, and I’m so incredibly fine with that. But I pray that another form of love will be.

  As I near the shop, the warm glow of the An Open Book sign dangling above the purple doorframe feels like an invitation. I look up at the night sky and make a wish. Inside this little independent bookshop is the man who is going to give me my heart’s desire.

  Yanking open the door, I head inside. I stride to the small cafe where Ryder said he’d wait for me.

  My chest falls. The man is known for punctuality. I scan the white bakery case and the five round iron tables, but he’s not here. When I spin around and survey the bookshelves, my heart nearly leaps from my chest.

  He’s in the . . .

  Oh my fucking God, he’s waiting for me in the . . .

  I bring my hand to my mouth, and I want to run, to leap into his arms. When he sees me, his blue eyes twinkle with mischief.

  I am a teapot about to whistle. I am a dog dancing before dinnertime.

  He taps the shelves and holds up a book.

  A pregnancy guide.

  He’s ten feet from me. But I sprint anyway, and I grin like a fool. I stop two inches from him and clamp my hands on his broad shoulders. “Is that a yes?”

  “Yes—”

  I tackle-hug him before he can say anything more. I knock the breath from him in an oomph as I rope my arms around his neck and crash into him.

  “But I have one condition,” he says, embracing me back.

  I’m crying tears of happiness, so I don’t care. “Anything. Name it.”

  “You better hear it before you agree.”

  The moment screeches to a halt. He’s going to want visitation rights. He’ll want lots of money. He’ll want summers, or weekends, or evenings out.

  I unwrap myself from the warmth of his strong chest and swallow. “What’s your condition?”

  “I thought it would be best to present it in the form of a column.”

  “A column?”

  “Top five list and everything.”

  I groan inside. He has five conditions? Maybe my mother was right. Maybe asking for baby-mix from someone you know is a big mistake. Anonymous donors request nothing but greenbacks.

  I steel myself as he fishes in the back pocket of his jeans. The paper is square, folded in quarters. He hands it to me. “Open it.”

  I unfold it then read the headline out loud. “‘Top Five Positions for Getting a Woman Pregnant’?”

  I blink and stare at him. The cogs turn slowly in my brain. I part my lips to speak.

  He raises a hand to silence me. “Hear me out. You explained how it worked. The room, the cup, the magazines, the videos. The whacking off in a fucking public place. The cost. But most of all . . . the wait. You’d have to wait for an appointment for me, for the testing, for the jerking off, then for your special date with the turkey baster.” He cups my cheek. His hand is big and warm. “What if we did it the old-fashioned way?”

  I draw a deep breath, letting the air fill my cells as I process his question. I’m not sure what to make of this change-up. I didn’t prep for this option.

  Quickly, I weigh the pros and cons of this unexpected offer to take a ride on his baby-making train. On the one hand, I’m asking him to give me a baby. A person. The least I can do is make it easier for him, right? A clinical exam room has to be up there on the list of unpleasant places to get off. Surely, I wouldn’t want to paddle the pink canoe on a doctor’s table.

  On the other hand, sleeping with a friend and a co-worker is a recipe that calls for just the right mix of ingredients. Add too much of a spice, and it tastes awful. Bake too long and it burns. Would we be able to manage all the complications of working together and screwing at the same time?

  My mind latches onto the prospect of . . . screwing Ryder Lockhart.

  Having sex with the most handsome man I know.

  Getting horizontal with this gorgeous, witty, generous man who’s willing to give me a piece of himself.

  My stomach has the audacity to swoop.

  My skin prickles as my mind fills with images. Undressing him. Undoing his zipper. Guiding him inside me. I lick my lips. My nipples tighten.

  Oh dear Lord in Heaven.

  It sounds dangerous and divine.

  Truth be told, it sounds like a faster route from A to B, too.

  And it’s also eons easier than the other way. This is the way it’s done. He’s asking to make my life simpler and to give me my greatest dream.

  All I have to do is get naked for him and spread my legs.

  Why on earth am I weighing pros and cons? This is all pro.

  “You think we could pull this off?” I ask. “Working together and taking baby-making to the next level?”

  He scoffs as if it’s incredulous that we couldn’t do that. “You and me—we’re pros. Who else can approach sex from such a practical angle?”

  “And this is the practical way to achieve a goal?”

  He shrugs playfully. “Practical and more pleasurable. Besides, we’re mature adults, and this is a quicker and better solution.” He take
s a beat and pins my gaze. “Unless you don’t think we’d have fun in bed . . .”

  I swallow and quickly dispel that notion. “Oh no. That’s not a worry at all. I’m sure it would be fun.”

  He lifts a hand and fingers the end of my hair. “What do you think? Still think I’m a good guy?”

  The swoop revisits my belly when he touches me. I nibble on the corner of my lip and fiddle with his collar. “Want to know what I’m thinking?” I ask, coy and flirty.

  “That I now win the weirdest thing someone has asked you?”

  “Would it be weird? Sex with you?”

  “Do you like it weird?”

  “I like it hard. I like it good. And I like it a lot.”

  A groan echoes in his throat.

  I tap-dance my fingers down his chest. “And I think I’m going to find out if you’re as good in bed as I’ve always thought you might be.”

  “You’ve thought about me in bed?” he asks in that deep sexy voice, and oh, how this moment has shifted from baby planning to something dirty and delicious. Something I didn’t expect to happen tonight. But my body likes his plan, since it’s getting hot and bothered.

  “I might have let my mind wander from time to time,” I admit.

  Dropping a hand to my hip, he yanks me close. “What do you say we test out how it’s going to be with a kiss?”

  “We get to kiss, too?” I tease.

  “Woman, I’m not just going to fuck you. There’s going to be kissing and fucking. Fucking and kissing. And coming.”

  That swoop in my chest settles between my legs now, like a pulse beating.

  He bends his face to mine, and he dusts his lips to my forehead.

  I shiver.

  He presses a soft kiss to one eyelid then the other.

  I tremble.

  Then he rains kisses down my face, my cheeks, my jaw. Kisses that make me feel as if we’re under a streetlamp, the roads slick from an earlier rain.

  My lips part, and he seals his mouth to mine.

  It’s like that kiss on the silver screen when time stops. His lips are all I know. The world is this slow and gentle slide. The wet delicious taste. The feel of this man’s mouth pressed to mine for the first time.

  Strangely, or perhaps not so strangely at all, I’m barely thinking of babies.

  I’m thinking of bodies. Of my own, and how it reacts to being so close to his.

  The hair on my arms stands on end as he kisses me with more softness than I ever expected. He’s tender and gentle—this is how you take a woman into your arms after you’ve told her you’ll help her dreams come true. You give her a kiss that makes her feel like starlight.

  I sigh, sinking into it, savoring every wondrous second of his lips on mine. I’m not sure I’ve been kissed like this in ages. This kiss is a luxury. We are living in a slow torch song.

  Lips glide. Tongues touch. Breath mingles.

  He tastes like spearmint, clean and sexy, and I absolutely love that combination in a man.

  He groans against my mouth. That sound, carnal and masculine, lights me up.

  He slides his hand up the back of my neck, and I wobble the slightest bit. He steadies me with a hand on my hip. His fingers resume their path, climbing upward. He ropes his hands in my hair, and he tastes me more deeply. More insistent.

  I let out a little moan when he nips my lips, and then our slow, deep, wet kiss shifts. It becomes a little harder, a bit faster, a lot closer. I might be panting when we stop.

  He is, too. “Did I pass the kiss test?”

  I blink, trying to reconnect my brain to my mouth. Fortunately, that’s one of my talents. So is remembering my half of this deal, which seems like small potatoes. But he needs those potatoes, and I’m going to serve them up however he wants. Mashed, fried, roasted, grilled. “You passed with flying colors. We’re going to work through your list of top ten dates, and I’m going to make damn sure you have the best time of your life. Because it’s anywhere, anytime, and any position with me.”

  His smile is wide and wicked. “You’re going to make this the best work project ever.”

  “I think I’m going to like this project, too.” I shift gears, my organizational side taking over and kicking into full gear. “Speaking of, I should be entering the ovulation zone in a few more days. I’ve been charting so I have a good idea of when it should be. Want to get started on a plan for those top five positions and the ten dates?

  “How long does ovulation last?”

  “They say it can be right in the middle of your cycle. Personally, I don’t want to miss a shot, so I think it’s best if we try for the five days on either side.”

  “Ten days in a row.” He smirks. “I believe I’m amenable to that.”

  We grab a seat in the café, and I open my calendar app. We pick a day to start, and I pencil in a few dates for him. I point to a week at the end of the month when I’ll be out of town, doing my show on the road. “But at least I’ll be at the end of my cycle then,” I say, then I meet his eyes. “Will that work out for your dating guide, though, if we miss a week?”

  Ryder nods. “Cal sees this as a project that’ll last several weeks, so that sounds good to me.”

  When we leave, I’m still giddy, and something occurs to me.

  That wasn’t a regular wobble a little while ago when he kissed me. He made me weak in the knees.

  But surely that’s because he’s going to give me a baby. I’m only swooning for the baby.

  Twelve

  Ryder

  We fly through the air with the greatest of ease.

  Nicole might have been a bird in a past life because she takes to the trapeze as if she has wings, or circus performer blood in her.

  She’s strapped in with a harness contraption and swinging upside down, her knees hooked over the bar.

  A September breeze zips through the air at Hudson River Park in lower Manhattan, home of Trapeze School New York. In the quest to find ever more interesting activities for dates and life, the city is home to trapeze lessons, rock climbing, indoor golf, trampolining, and more. God forbid we ever be bored in Manhattan. Rest assured I’m not.

  When Nicole finishes her swing, the instructor helps her regain her footing on the platform. The look on her face is pure exhilaration. She’s breathless, her cheeks are flushed crimson, and her red hair is wild.

  “Oh my God, that was amazing!” She swats my arm. “I want to see you do that upside down.”

  I scoff. “Piece of cake.”

  She rolls her eyes. “Oh yeah?”

  “I used to cover scary-as-hell wide receivers.”

  She laughs. “I love that you’re actually trying to equate college football with flying like a squirrel.”

  “Squirrels are pretty amazing. So are strapping safeties.”

  She shakes her head, amused.

  Callie, the pipsqueak instructor with the high blond ponytail, chimes in, talking to Nicole. “You’re very natural on the trapeze. I can’t believe you’ve never done anything like this.”

  “I’m naturally daring,” Nicole says with a wink.

  Truer words.

  “That is the best trait,” Callie says, then she regards me. “Do you want to try catching her? I hear you were some kind of superstar safety.”

  Nicole’s mouth turns to an O. “Whoa. She’s calling you out.”

  “I was on defense. We didn’t catch that often.”

  “Surely you caught interceptions?” Nicole asks, lifting her chin, challenging me.

  I scrub a hand over my jaw, gesture widely to the acrobatic setup, then back at my pseudo date. “So you’re daring me to catch you?”

  She gives me a tough-girl bring-it-on look, going gangster with her hands. “You’re afraid to catch me?”

  I toss my head back and laugh. “Woman, you have no idea.” I cup her cheek and give her my best smolder. “I’m going to catch you so fucking good.”

  Her laughter ceases, and she drops her voice. “How the hell d
id you just turn that into some kind of come-on line?”

  Callie is fixated on her sneakers.

  “It’s my special talent.” I bring my mouth to her ear. “Plus, I think you might have nothing but sex on the brain.”

  She gasps. “How could you say such a thing?” Her voice drips with mock shock.

  “Admit it. All you’re thinking about is stripping me down to nothing.”

  Callie shuffles farther away from us. Smart girl.

  “Why would you ever think that all I want is your . . .” Nicole pauses, slides her lips up my neck, and whispers, “cock.”

  One word from her red lips and my dick responds as it fucking should. I yank her closer so she knows. “I have no idea where I got the idea that you were into me for my body only,” I tease.

  A murmur falls from her lips when she presses against my erection. “I’m into your body for so many reasons, Ryder.”

  I nip on her earlobe. “My date is counting down the hours till she can get me naked.”

  “By my estimates, I think that in about sixty minutes, I can get these pesky pants off you,” she says, running a hand down the fabric of my workout pants. That’s what the trapeze lessons call for—exercise clothes.

  I sigh heavily as if I’m dejected. “I’m nothing but a sex object to you.”

  A throat clears.

  “Oops,” Nicole whispers to me. “Guess we’re too dirty.” She raises her voice. “Sorry, Callie. He’s going to try to knock me up later tonight. We might be a little frisky sometimes.”

  Callie’s expression morphs instantly from embarrassed annoyance to sheer joy. “That’s so exciting! I love babies. You two are going to have such beautiful babies.” Then worry seems to strike her. She steps closer to Nicole and clasps a hand around her arm. “Is there a chance you’re pregnant now? Because you shouldn’t be flying.”

  Nicole waves off the concern. We planned the trapeze date for our first one for just that reason. Get all the bouncing, flying, falling, and jumping out of the way before Nicole might be in the family way.